Subtle Art of Giving a ….. and spoons. Related??

In the book The Subtle Art of not giving a F*ck.  The author talks about deciding what F*cks to give.  Basically life can be rough and we have to deal with it. Not deny what is going on with us or around us. So make our F*cks worth it.

It reminded me of Sara Tasker (Me and Orla) talking about only having so many spoons (energy) to give out in a day.  Everyone has a different amount of spoons (energy to devote to anything).  Anger and resentment are spoons, along with F*cks.

Both of these concepts have me thinking how I give my limited F*cks / spoons away each day.  Hurt, angry and resentment are spoons I am giving away. Someone says or does something hurtful or disappoints me. I end up carrying that hurt around ALL day. How many spoons have I given away on that? Instead of dealing with the issue right away or letting it go (easier said than done I know).  I have now given spoons (energy) away that I could have used to read, jot down blog posts or story ideas.

If I think about having a limited number of spoons a day, where should I focus my energy? I’m thinking Saturday patio time, discussion on blog posts/ideas, reading or giving a spoon to a cause I consider worthy.

Victim mentality takes a lot of spoons. Especially if you continue to do nothing about it.  Also focusing on people, events and situations you have no control over is giving away spoons.

Where do I want my limited spoons to go? On issues I have control over and can change. Life tosses stuff at us.  Where can I focus my spoons (energy) on that will make the biggest amount of difference?

Say I have 5 spoons a day and I have used up 1 if not 2 being angry at how someone treated me. Spirally down and maybe even using up more spoons. So now I have less spoons to deal with things I have control over and enjoy. Examples looking at finances, writing, etc.

This idea of having limited spoons appeals to me as I can get caught up in feeling hurt and go down that rabbit hole of resentment and what if. If I can catch myself and think oh I’m giving this a spoon (limited energy) away. I might be able to stop that downward motion earlier.

The idea of thinking about my energy as limited makes sense to me.  If I have limited energy there is only so much I can do. Which makes sense as there are only so many hours in the day.  So as with any limited resource I want, no need, to use them wisely. I don’t want to waste them entangled in things out of my control.  I want to use my spoons wisely.

I would love to hear what you think of the idea of limited f*cks / spoons. For me it is about making wiser choices before handing out energy I want to use on something else.

You can always start now!

26 thoughts on “Subtle Art of Giving a ….. and spoons. Related??

  1. debrapurdykong says:

    I never looked at it this way before, but I like the concept. We each have so many f*ck/spoons to give away. These days, I need to take stock of how many spoons are actually there to begin with. Over recent weeks, some seem to have gone missing completely.


      1. justmuddlingthroughlife says:

        I’m a worrier and worry over alot of things I have no control over.. however having no control over it, worries me when they directly affect me. Yes I need to relax and well more.. and control the spoons and Fs I give out.. but yes hakuna matata!


  2. Gloria says:

    This makes so much sense. I’ve read about the spoons, but I didn’t stop to think that perhaps I’ve been giving some of my spoons (and f***s) away unnecessarily.
    My spoons are low these last few months. I think I’ll work harder on preserving them. The perfect Sunday morning read for me today! 🤗


    1. You Can Always Start Now says:

      It was something I could put more easily into practice. If I think I have limited spoons I have been catching myself and thinking “I don’t want to give this or that a spoon!” then I try and adjust thoughts/behaviour. Yes to realizing you only have so many spoons/energy and focusing it on the best results.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. kimsdiytribe says:

    Agree! When you carry around anger, resentment, etc it only COSTS YOU. The other person doesn’t feel a thing. Why give them that power over you? Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself. Its’s really not about the other person ultimately as strange as that might spund. It’s to release yourself from carrying around a sack of victim hood poison. Thanks Amelia!


  4. The Tea Chest ♥ says:

    Now that’s a thought provoking post!! I am now going to try and see how I ration my spoons/f*cks lol. Hmmmm this could be interesting!!


      1. The Tea Chest ♥ says:

        Absolutely!! I am a lot more relaxed now without work stress so I guess my levels are a lot different these days!


  5. Michelle Churchman says:

    I totally agree! I have a chronic illness so I am intimately familiar with the spoon concept. But you are absolutely right negative emotions use up spoons, and even if you’re healthy, do you really want to wast your energy like that?


    1. You Can Always Start Now says:

      For me it was a light bulb moment. Yeah, look at energy, which is limited, and decided it worth going down that rabbit hole. Over the years I have gotten better at stopping myself soon on a negative downward spiral. Still a work in progress. take care.


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