Opting out

I’ve been listening to Cait Flanders Opting Out  podcast  She wrote two books one about not spending and the more recent The Adventures of Opting Out.  The podcast is enjoyable as Cait is easy to listen to – no drama. She usually tapes it outside by water, wind and her seeing the occasionally animal or one week a proposal. 

So I thought it would be fun to give my list of “opting out” here it goes….
  • Drama – don’t need or want.  Maybe on the screen but that is about it.
  • Negative people and/or conversation.  Yes we need to debrief and that can get negative.  But you know the people I mean. It is all negative. They are victims and nothing is their fault (or even partially).
  • Events we are not interested in. We say yes because we feel we should. That wanting to be alone is not an excuse. It is. If not a special occasion we can say no. Our time and needs are important also.
  • Book recommendations and books people give us.  If we are not interested say so and don’t take the book. Or if you do, start it and it doesn’t catch your attention don’t bother finishing it.  Yes, you heard that right you don’t have to finish a book you are not enjoying.  Yep, it is okay you have permission to opt out of finishing it.  Life is short there are a lot of books.  Read one you want.
  • Shopping for the sake of shopping.  I’m doing Project 333 where I wear 33 items for three months. No shopping. It is to see what we have in our closets and what we really wear. It is okay to opt out of shopping with friends for the sake of shopping. Meet them for lunch later.
  • Not answering the phone if we are exhausted and know that person is just calling to talk. Nothing major just talk (which is great) but not at our expense. I am taking a break from answering the phone in the evenings for a bit – leave a message. One friend said I had a phone phobia. Seriously. Creating boundaries is okay. You do not have to be at people’s demand 24/7. 
  • You decide what you want to opt out of.  Maybe it is working full-time or too much over-time. Too many activities on your or family’s plate.  Keeping up appearances.  Have a look around and see what you can opt out of. 

You can always start now!

14 thoughts on “Opting out

    1. ellenbest24 says:

      Not finish a Book, i am hyperventilating at that one. 😂 But I get where you are coming from. I would opt out of getting dressed unless I want to. So many people think you are Lazy, slovenly or depressed if you keep your jammies on. Well this girl did not get to 65 without making het own decisions. So if I feel comfortable and do not get dressed that is my decision as Is if I want to dress up mid week and go no where, that is what I will do.


      1. You Can Always Start Now says:

        The first thing I do when I get home from work it yoga pants and t-shirt. For me it is all about being comfortable especially in my own home. PJs yes do it. It took me a while to not finish a book but time is short and so many I want to read. All about limiting regrets for me at this stage. We get to decided people!


  1. esmesalon says:

    I totally agree with you on not answering the phone. If you truly wish to discuss or talk to me leave me a message and I will respond once available again.

    Thank you so much for sharing your post at our Senior Salon Pit Stop.
    Pinned to Senior Salon Pit Stop InLinkz Linkup Shares board and tweeted @EsmeSalon #SeniorSalonPitStop


  2. ellenbest24 says:

    I have opted out of getting dressed unless I want to. If I wake with an idea or a project I wash/shower change into warmed plays to write who wants to dress at 5am? This began in lockdown so nobody except The husband seen and he does not mind as long as I am comfortable. I have zoomed in pyjamas with a jumper on top, a spray of perfume and brushed hair. I found a filter to blurr the view behind me and one to enhance your looks. So no one sees un washed dishes or ironing in the background and I loved the relaxed feeling. I opt to not supermarket shop. instead I click and collect only replacing what has been used saves wastage and money. I am calmer and feel safe and do not care if others think I am reclusive or bonkers I will be the way that is best for me. You have some great ideas and opt outs.


    1. You Can Always Start Now says:

      That somes awesome. People should do that makes them feel safe. Yes to click and collect – all for saving wastage and money. I do feel this pandemic has given people different options of living. Maybe slower, maybe more reflective. What do I need? How do I want to feel? It is creating the space and life you want not what society expects. I am done with that. Take care and be safe.


  3. lindahobden says:

    I recently felt bad about turning down a shopping trip with a friend to a place I didn’t really want to visit …. but this post has given me a lift that it was ok to opt out …. thank you


  4. Lucy says:

    I love your list. It’s so true, I think we are all guilty of saying yes and doing things because of the pressure we feel from others and society. I definitely need the reminder that it’s ok to say no and to rest. I like the sound of Cait Flanders podcast, thank you for sharing about it. I’ll have to check it out.


  5. Gemma - Wheelescapades says:

    I need to take some of this advice! I’m really not good at saying no, when it comes to anything. You’re right though, life is short and we need to live how we want as well.
    Once I start a book I always have to finish it. I need to know what happens. Not sure I can change there!


    1. You Can Always Start Now says:

      For a book if I don’t like or hate even the characters I’m not invested in caring what happens to them. So decision not to finish and start one where I want to know what happens. Hoping 2022 turns around. We had restrictions over the holidays and numbers still up. Keep safe and make the most of what we can!

      Liked by 1 person

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