I’m currently reading The Subtle Art of not giving a F*ck. The author talks about, well giving a F*ck, but in the sense that we all do and we all will. It is about deciding what F*cks to give. Basically life can be rough and we have to deal with it. Not deny what is going on with us or around us. So make our F*cks worth it.
It reminded me of Sara Tasker (Instagrammer) talking about only having so many spoons (energy) to give out in a day. Everyone has a different amount of spoons to give out in a day (energy to devote to anything). Anger and resentment are spoons, along with F*cks.
Both of these concepts have me thinking how I give my limited F*cks / spoons away each day. Hurt, angry and resentment are spoons I am giving away. Someone says or does something hurtful or disappoints me. I end up carrying that hurt around ALL day. How many spoons have I given away on that? Instead of dealing with the issue right away or letting it go (easier said than done I know). I have now given spoons (energy) away that I could have used to read, jot down blog posts or story ideas.
If I think about having a limited amount of f*cks or spoons a day, where should I focus my energy? I’m thinking Saturday patio time, discussion on blog posts/ideas, reading or giving a spoon to a cause I consider worthy.
Victim mentality takes a lot of f*cks or spoons. Especially if you continue to do nothing about it. Also focusing on people, events and situations you have no control over is giving away spoons.
Where do I want my limited spoons/f*cks to go? On issues I have control over and can change. Life tosses stuff at us. Where can I focus my spoons (energy) on that will make the biggest amount of difference?
Say I have 5 spoons a day and I have used up 1 if not 2 being angry at how someone treated me. Spirally down and maybe even using up more spoons. So now I have less spoons to deal with things I have control over. Examples looking at finances, writing, etc.
This idea of having limited f*cks / spoons appeals to me as I can get caught up in feeling hurt and go down that rabbit hole of resentment and what if. If I can catch myself and think oh I’m giving this a spoon (limited) away to something I can’t control, I might be able to stop that downward motion earlier.
I like the idea that I only have so many f*cks / spoons. So I want, no need, to use them wisely. It makes sense to me, as really I do only have so much energy and time in a day to devote to things that will make a difference to me and/or others. So I want to use my spoons wisely.
I would love to hear what you think of the idea of limited f*cks / spoons. For me it is about making wiser choices before handing out energy I want to use on something else.
You can always start now!
Interesting read and I am in total agreement – I like the idea of assigning a certain number of F^%ks or spoons a day – then when you are out it’s time for bed lmao!!
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I like the idea also. I makes me think before I get upset over something. Do I want to give away a “spoon” to this????
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I never looked at it this way before, but I like the concept. We each have so many f*ck/spoons to give away. These days, I need to take stock of how many spoons are actually there to begin with. Over recent weeks, some seem to have gone missing completely.
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I know. I like the idea of spoons and realizing I have only so many. Which is true if I consider energy I have for the day. So where do I want to focus it on. I feel it gives me a visual to work with. If that makes sense.
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Very interesting post.. and interesting thinking,, I give away way to many fu@* s and spoons.. I really need to stop!
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Look at what you can control and what you can’t for starters. Why give away energy on something you have no control over the end result or anything really.
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I’m a worrier and worry over alot of things I have no control over.. however having no control over it, worries me when they directly affect me. Yes I need to relax and well more.. and control the spoons and Fs I give out.. but yes hakuna matata!
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It is hard I know. I can go from zero to 200 over something in seconds. I am working on if I only have a limited amount of spoons do I really want to hand one over to this.
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This makes so much sense. I’ve read about the spoons, but I didn’t stop to think that perhaps I’ve been giving some of my spoons (and f***s) away unnecessarily.
My spoons are low these last few months. I think I’ll work harder on preserving them. The perfect Sunday morning read for me today! 🤗
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It was something I could put more easily into practice. If I think I have limited spoons I have been catching myself and thinking “I don’t want to give this or that a spoon!” then I try and adjust thoughts/behaviour. Yes to realizing you only have so many spoons/energy and focusing it on the best results.
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Interesting, never thought this way!
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Oh yes. Just so many spoons and then I give up! I hsve that book on my list quite a while. I think I need it.
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It was worth reading.
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Great post and very interesting idea about the spoons! 😉
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thank you. Makes it visual for me.
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I’ve read the book, but never related it to your metaphor, ha. Good one and so true!
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Thank you. For me the spoons were easier to visual and think about than the F*cks.
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