Life Lessons – not talking

I decided to do a series on life lessons.  Some of these lessons I have somewhat under control and others are a “work in progress”.  This is one of them.  When not to talk.

Yes there are times when keeping your mouth shut is your best mode of communication.  Sometimes people just want to rant if upset and at that moment offering an opinion or idea is not helpful. As they are not ready to hear it yet.  Just be there.

Another time is when you are hearing about a situation that you have heard multiple times in the past.  It has been discussed or maybe you have offered suggestions in the past and they are never heard, brushed off or just mouthed yes. The point is they often don’t or won’t make a change so the situation stays the same. This is a personal one for me. I still want to help, but it is energy sucking, so I have to limit my interaction. Often that is just listening. When I feel they are ready to make a change I will be there.  We have to decide where to put our energy and also when people are ready to listen.

Sometime just taking a breath, smiling or nodding is all the communication we need to do. Remember once our words are out there we can’t take them back. So maybe we should start placing more importance on them.

You can always start now!

 

16 thoughts on “Life Lessons – not talking

  1. ellenbest24 says:

    I could use that advice … Maybe it is better to listen and nod if you are not responding to the written word, or expected to respond as in a critique, that non verbal discussion on line is where I may need to wear lead gloves; keep my hands away from the keyboard. Ask and I will be honest, I listen well face to face. You have me thinking now. Good job.

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    • Amelia says:

      It is hard to not just start typing a response when you read something you have an opinion on. So I agree it is reading and understanding more of what they are saying/writing before responding. And maybe thinking “do I even have to respond?” Thanks for responding! and glad you are thinking about it. Take aways are good.

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  2. Janet Givens says:

    Always good advice. Though, I have to add that my band director in high school had a sign on his wall: “Don’t just stand there looking stupid, open your mouth and prove it.” He was not a particularly strong role model. Have you heard the “When the student is ready, the teacher appears” one? I thought of that one reading your second point. Nice post.

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    • Amelia says:

      Yes I have heard that “when the student is ready, the teacher appears”. Thinking about that I’m going to apply it to my dealings with a few people. Step back and think they are just not ready for move forward yet. Also apparently I’m not the teacher. It would definitely put my interactions in a more positive frame. Thank you.

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  3. englishwithkirsty says:

    I agree – sometimes people just want to know that someone is listening. Sometimes we can be so busy trying to relate or say we know how something feels, and in reality, we don’t. Sometimes other people just need the room to share 🙂

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    • Amelia says:

      This is so true. Often people are not listening but thinking about their reply in their heads. If that makes sense! It is about creating room to share – that was a great way to put it. Thanks for visiting.

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  4. anhistorianabouttown says:

    There are some people in my life that I do have to take a step back from- if you are going to continually complain about a situation in your life that you do have the power to do something about and you choose not to, at a point, that is only on you. I find it incredibly draining to always hear the same thing over and over and over!

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    • Amelia says:

      I am with you there. After offering suggestions again and again, at some point I find I’m getting not just tired but mad (which so doesn’t help anyone). Yes to taking a step back. We have to also consider what is healthy for us also.

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