Can you share to soon?

This blog for me is about putting myself out there. I think it is part blogging and part journaling.  I am someone who keeps things close to my chest in pretty well all areas in my life.  I have to weigh the pros and cons, desired outcomes and what ifs numerous times in various scenarios.  Bad example one friend finally said “it is just paint.”

So can you share too soon? My opinion is at times yes. When an idea is just forming and you are trying to catch the various nuances of it. You are playing with different scenarios and combinations. For me it is like a baby I am carrying until it is steady enough on its feet to hold its own.  Or I am confident enough to put it out there and can take the criticising of others. I’m not going to say I won’t be hurt by the opinion of others on my work or ideas, but I have cradled them enough to know they are mine and strong enough to handle the storm.

I think people often feel they are “helping” when they criticise. Not realising that unless the information is useful it is just your opinion. If the project is already completed and out there, saying you should have…. is not helpful when someone has just exposed part of their soul. Can we not be happy at the moment for them? Constructive advice is great when asked for and at the appropriate time, but not when someone has presented a completed piece of work. Give them the opportunity to share their delight at the finished project.  Why didn’t you? Is not an appropriate response.  How about I am so proud of you.

You don’t have to love someone’s piece of art or writing. That is subjective. What isn’t subjective is acknowledging that someone has taken the time and put their soul into creating something.  I want to be someone who helps build people up and realise their dreams.  Who do you want to be?

You can always start now!

 

 

 

28 thoughts on “Can you share to soon?

  1. Lise says:

    I feel this on so many levels! I had a lot of projects in the past that I was so eager to start working on, but due to me sharing information about it too soon and getting criticized, I quickly gave up and went on to try something new. I wonder what it would be like if I kept it to myself and finished it all before sharing it instead. I think a lot of us can benefit from keeping things to ourselves until the time is right.

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    • Amelia says:

      I have a few people in my life that just criticise. They or their kids/family can do everything better. I call them dream killers as they live life with a scarcity mentality. So I am very aware of who and when I want to share. It is sad. I hope you go back and tackle some of those projects you gave up on. Enjoy the journey of exploring and doing – maybe don’t get too attached to the end result.

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  2. Deborah says:

    Yes critique at the right time is important. So many can be negative very quickly. Sometimes or lots of times it can be an attitude problem. I use critique as a resource. Helps me and makes me not get too hurt at others opinions. Not always easy though.

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    • Amelia says:

      I read the book The Four Agreement and one is “don’t take things personally”. Hard at times but helps when I feel myself spinning to grab hold of that. Agree critique at the right time is important and useful. Also people have to realise that they don’t have to comment on everything and everything doesn’t have to “speak to them” to be worthy.

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  3. anhistorianabouttown says:

    I think a lot of this comes down to personality. As an eternal perfectionist, I always welcome constructive criticism even if a project is entirely done- we all always have something that we can improve on, and if no one says anything, how will I know? That being said, I tend to be limited in sharing feedback unless actually asked for as I understand that many people don’t want that feedback. In terms of sharing things before they are ready, extroverts tend to lean towards talking/working it out with other people and so share a lot earlier! It’s funny to think that what might seem obvious to us is completely alien to someone else!

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    • Amelia says:

      Definitely know your audience (introvert/extrovert). Constructive criticism is great and I enjoy brainstorming but in a positive atmosphere. Criticising that isn’t helpful but just negative well I don’t want to hear it. Thanks for stopping by always enjoy your comments and take on stuff.

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  4. BeingChloe says:

    This is so true! I never leave negative comments on a blog post etc as I know exactly how much work goes into it! Just because it isn’t necessarily someones cup of tea doesn’t mean it hasn’t helped someone, somewhere! Great post lovely, very insightful x

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    • Amelia says:

      I agree. I think negativity shows more about the person giving it than the person it is aimed at. Feel the same way not everything is my cup of tea but that doesn’t take away from its worth. Thanks for stopping by.

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  5. gemmaorton says:

    So very true. Being negative doesn’t help or encourage anyone. Everybody is different and likes different things. Just because something isn’t ‘for you’ doesn’t mean it isn’t great. Baring your soul can be such a hard and personal thing. People need to consider that.

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  6. kaybe610 says:

    I loved reading this Amelia! Leaving negative comments can be so hard… I know from experience 😦 Luckily most of the time I get lovely comments which can really give me a boost! And positive and constructive feedback? Yes please!!! As I am always eager to learn 🙂 Love, Kathleen

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    • Amelia says:

      They say people are afraid of change and I think that is often why they shut others down. Just remember it says more about them than us. Thanks for stopping by and yes to learning and growing!

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  7. Oriana says:

    This post is spot on, I never share anything unless I think it’s as close to the best I could make, because of the people you mentioned. This reminds me of my ex boyfriend, who lived by that “I criticize everything to make you improve” rule. Guess what, that’s why he’s an ex boyfriend now 🙂

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    • Amelia says:

      Seriously you don’t need people around you that take you down. I think that “I criticize everything…..” statement was more about him not wanting you to succeed and maybe surpass him (in this head).

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  8. ellenbest24 says:

    The trouble is if we put our selves out there, lay our soul on the line we will invite opinion. Both for and against. As a writer or blogger we have to learn from both the negative ones as well as the positive. Now I hold my post in draft for a two day minimum in hope that I spot a tic that I missed, to give me time to look when less tired or preoccupied. You make a good point in a good post , thank you.

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  9. Gloria says:

    This is so right. I never leave negative comments on a blog……I wouldn’t dream of it. As much as I love my mother, she was a bit like this when I used to play my music. “Can you not play something a bit more upbeat?”
    “Do you not know such and such….?”
    It made me give up music sadly!

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    • Amelia says:

      Words can be so powerful. I wish more people realised that. I can’t imagine leaving a negative comment either – a question maybe. Think about getting back to your music – if it bring you joy do it regardless of what anyone says. We have that power. Thanks for stopping by and commenting.

      Like

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