“Perfectionism is not a quest for the best. It is a pursuit of the worst in ourselves, the part that tells us that nothing we do will ever be good enough.” Julia Cameron
I recently read the above sentence and it resonated with me. It reminded me of all the ideas, possibilities I have not started, not shared or shut-down before the glimpse was too real. All because I know I am not perfect and could never do anything justice. So I always felt that if I didn’t start, I wouldn’t fail, be disappointed or worse open myself up to other people knowing I am a flawed.
How many doors have we refused to open or walk through because we felt we were not smart enough or skilled enough. Or maybe, me for one, we have attempted something, but kept it close and not shared it feeling it was never “good enough”. So we short change not only ourselves but the community by not taking a risk, embracing failure, learning from it and maybe creating something better.
I am challenging myself and everyone to not wait for perfectionism – the fear we are not good enough. Lets take risk, open doors, become vulnerable. There is so much out there we are missing by holding back. What we have to offer is worth it. Perfect – who wants that!! I want unique. What we have to offer is enough – it is part of us and yes crictism hurts but it is better than living a life of regrets and “what ifs”. I want to look in the mirror at the end of the day and say “yes I did that and I can take whatever life tosses at me because I am good enough the way I am and what I create/offer is uniquely me and that is enough.”
I love this post and the message it delivers. I too am not perfect but have always considered myself as different…now I’m going to start calling myself unique. I actually prefer imperfection but it took me a long time to figure out that was ok – please yourself because you matter most!!!
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I totally agree with this post. I think far too many of us hold back from doing things for fear of judgement or failure. I am in my 40’s now and still feel the fear. We have to keep pushing ourselves eh! x
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I agree it took me (still working on it) a long time to just put stuff out there. Just push through it as I think we regret more of what we don’t try than anything we actually do. Treat your 40s as your time to push through the fear and have an incredible chapter.
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Feel exactly the same, that’s why I went out on a limb with my blog afraid of failure, but I’ve made it a week so far! Still nervous of failure!!
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Blogging for me has been extremely positive. It has made me put myself out there and that in turn has lead me to other ventures. Just be yourself. You are part of an amazing community.
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What an amazing piece of motivational writing. I am a self-confessed perfectionist and whilst it has been good in some aspects – it makes me always do things to the best of my ability, it has in other ways infested my life like a disease. It has stopped me making so many decisions. It took years for me to even start my blog.
I have this tendency to use this excuse…”when I have this and that…then I will do it”.
And like you said, I avoided taking risks so that I would never fail. But that mindset leaves you in the same place. This is another reminder for me to keep going for what I want and not letting perfectionism take hold. x
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I think Melissa Gilbert ?? said perfectionism was one of the killers of creativity as you don’t create if you can’t make it perfect. In all honesty what is ever perfect? It took me a long time to put stuff out there (this blog for one). I also had to consider if judged (on stuff not being perfect) that is was not a reflection of me just someone’s opinion. So if you have done your best let it go. No regrets.
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Well I am glad you did decide to put this post out there. I completely agree. Do your best and then just let go.
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Great advice, I can really relate to that, as I tend to avoid trying something if I can’t do it perfectly.
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I think we have to change our mind set to “I’ve done my best” “I’ve enjoyed the process”. I think we are missing opportunities – plus society will be quick enough to judge us, we don’t have to do it. Go for it!!
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I can totally relate to this, I’m so hard on myself all the time because if it’s not perfect it’s not good enough. Lately I have been trying to chill out and let myself make mistakes sometimes, take breaks and just slow down and I’m definitely feeling better. xx
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I have struggled with “not being good enough” my whole life. Mistakes are part of learning – finding out what you enjoy, want to pursue etc. a lot can be flipped into learning opportunities. That was fun but don’t need to do it again. Yes to chilling out and letting go of perceived ideas. It is often the journey not the end result we should focus on.
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What a great quote, so true.
I am slowly learning not to be a perfectionist but I am still put off from doing thing in case I cannot do them perfectly. Blogging has actually helped with this, as had reading blogs.
Great motivation, thanks.
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Blogging has helped me also as we so put ourselves out there. Plus it has helped keep me accountable and focused on other things. Just do it you have more regrets over things you don’t do than do. Not doing something perfectly is okay – more than okay. It is about the process and learning and/or enjoying that.
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You’re absolutely right! The process is often the most enjoyable.
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I do think at times we are too tied to the end result and miss the journey to get there or the opportunities to change. Thanks for stopping by.
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As someone who has to embrace failure right now because I was too afraid of not achieving something, I completely relate to this. I need to stop holding back too, thanks for this inspiring post ! 😊
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Regrets – have always been major for me. I decided I wanted to try and eliminate what I could so that meant doing things,putting things out there whether or not they were not perfect. Break things down into baby steps maybe and achieve those to start with. Don’t get caught up in the end result. Enjoy the journey as that is all we have. Good luck and will be following you on your blog!!
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I read one by Elizabeth Gilbert that was something like, “You don’t have to be original, you have to be authentic.” and it had the same idea to me. We don’t have to strive to be better, new or perfect. We just need to be 100% ourselves and that is enough. Lovely post, Amelia.
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totally agree. We are unique and that is what we have to offer. I so don’t want to “offer” perfectionism. Waste of precious energy. Thanks for visiting.
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I want to be unique too! I love your thoughts in this post – all so very true!
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You are unique – we all are. I think it is just putting aside the idea of waiting for perfectionism. Just do it. Enjoy it.
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🙂
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I have to say, I suffer from perfectionism a little bit. But only with certain things. I like the sound of unique better. I’ll remember that. 😀
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I just don’t want to have regret because things weren’t perfect before I send them out there. I’m sure there are many novels and other projects hidden that are worthy of being shown but are not “perfect”. Makes this feel sad.
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Waiting until we’ll get it perfect is a kind of paralysis. I saw it in my students in Kazakhstan, where I taught English. So many refused to speak until they believed they get it “right.” Good thing toddlers don’t worry so, or they’d never learn to walk. Great topic, great post.
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I often think of toddlers and language. Taking everything in for two years and processing it. Yes to perfectionism being a kind of paralysis. I can’t imagine not trying something new – one of my favoriate things to do. Perfectionism is never on the list – giving it a good shot is. Say hi to your mom!!
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Good point Janet!
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Being perfect or waiting to get something perfect never happens because my vision of perfect is miles away from your vision. We are each unique and our confidence is linked to what expectations we have .
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Well said. I know people that won’t start or finish a project because it is not perfect. Makes me sad. My expectation now (majority of the time) is to do a good job. Give myself to a project, hopefully enjoy it and give it my all, but not wait for perfection.
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I try to do it let it sit re-look at it tweak if necessary then let it go. If at third look I see huge mistakes I may leave it a week then let it go but on the whole I stick to the principle I set.
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I do that. I put draft away for a while. Took November’s NaNo novel out in mid March and started editing. But I am so not waiting for perfection as that ain’t happening!!
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My first entry in to an international comp made the long list. The critique said I had over edited it and consequently lost the character, I had sanitized it. So perfect English is not what you need when there are accents and coloquialisms that separate and give it ambience.
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agree. Like dialogue. We do not speak in perfect English. I was in an art class and the instructor told student to do more editing or detailing on painting. Basically she over did it and it was blah at the end compared to when the instructor first came over. We all knew it.
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There is so much truth in this post.
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I have completed and let go of projects as I work with this idea. It is freeing.
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What a great challenge! Very thought provoking and something we all need to think about.
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This is so true! i’d like to add that – by aging – I found out people love you more if they know you are imperfect! Perfectionists keep other people away…
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Agree. It was acceptance for me with aging. This is the package deal with it!!
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I too struggle with perfectionism. I’m improving and am a lot better than I used to be. But those sneaky little thoughts, “You’re not good enough,” always come back. It’s not a linear process and I’m learning to accept and love myself so I can love others!
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It is not linear but every time we can quiet that little voice in our head I think we are making progress. We are good enough and perfectionism isn’t attainable majority of the time.
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A wonderful post, I am so guilty of this. I am my own worst enemy.
I won’t take the step to self hosting my blog because I am sure I don’t have the skill to succeed. I keep putting the gym off because I am so worried that my lack of perfection is going to make people mock me and thats just 2 examples.
I have to remember this message.
Thank you for sharing x
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I think my push was around regrets. As I age I don’t want to look back and say “I should have” “Could have” ….. This is it. Right now is all we have. Do it. Start with baby steps. About the gym I think most people are too wrapped up in their selves to notice anyone else. Remember no regrets and nothing is perfect EVER
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Thank you so much 💕 you’re so right x x
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This is such a great post Amelia and such an important encouragement for people. So many people have a fear of failure and let fear of others criticism and our own lack of confidence hold us back from doing things we’d love to do. You’re so right, nothing is worse than having regrets and looking back and wondering what could have happened if I’d just taken a leap of faith.
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Totally agree. I’m trying to limit regrets and that has meant doing it and letting it go. Not holding on to it until perfect as really that is never going to happen and is an excuse. “I’m a perfectionist” is not a badge of honour people think it is. Thanks for visiting and commenting.
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I am glad I read this post again, so much truth in this, and yes I am by no means perfect, and will never ever be, but we can but try and do our best. I no, I need to step out of my comfort zone more often and try new things. I am that shy, shared one sitting at the back of the room in the dark corner and do not wish to be seen or heard. I need to rectify that, or at least try …
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I find the older I get the less I care about what others think. If people think I’m weird and/or silly I embrace it. Plus just put it out there with no regrets! You have this my friend
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Thanks, yes its taking my some time to learn (but I am slowly slowly catchy monkey) getting there
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That’s my life long problem. There are thousands of things I didn’t do because I always think it needs to be perfect. I would need someone to push me every day and telling me do this, do that… Missed so many good opportunities because of that.
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That is the hard part missing opportunties because of something that is out of our control. Also not realistic. We have to let ourselves be beginners. No comparison ever. As each of us is on our own journey. Start, be messy, have no regrets.
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